My previous post was about going out with a woman who I dubbed Ms. Raised By Wolves.
To be honest, I think wolves are honorable animals, so maybe some wolf reader will soon be learning how to use the internet to fire off a nasty-gram. Thank God they don’t have opposable thumbs, otherwise the comments section would get “done blown up.”
I’ve read countless articles about how men need to be gentlemen again, that the art has been lost.
But today’s entry is about why the art has been lost to most men and my theories behind it.
For me, I think that one of the biggest reasons why men aren’t gentlemen anymore is because they don’t see any value in being gentlemen. This is a issue that is two-fold: men aren’t appreciated for being gentlemen anymore, and they’re also not finding women worthy of having a gentleman. Some of them are still gentlemen around their friends, mothers, relatives, etc. But they don’t see the value in being a gentleman to women. Because the princess fantasy seems to have died in the current dating market and men realize it.
The princess fantasy involves a Prince Charming, a guy who sweeps a woman off of her feet with impeccable grooming, manners and credit history.
It’s been fueled in part by the fairytale of living happily ever after but in this generation it’s built on the dreams of many a woman to have that role in many a chick flick-of the under-appreciated girl who snags a guy who is as sweet as he is hunky.
But the new fantasy is another creation of Hollywood. Reforming the bad boy into a good guy. He’s sweet on the inside? What, is he made of strawberry jam? FFS.*
*Look it up.
Girl 1: “Oh my god, all I seem to date are assholes. And he’s not even filled with strawberry jam”
Girl 2: “Isn’t that the worst? All I find are the ones who taste like chalk.”
You can tell that I’ve been wondering on this subject quite a bit-the second issue is more complex. While we’ve already talked about the reason why men aren’t gentlemen because they don’t think it’s what women want, there’s a big elephant in the room. I don’t think men by in large believe women deserve gentlemen anymore. A gentleman deserves a lady and in this day and age, those ladies are significantly rarer than you think.
When I go to the mall and open the door and hold it open for the people that pass, I find significantly more men than women saying thank you or at least acknowledging my presence. It’s not even dependent on age, plenty of older women walk through the door as if it opened magically. You’d be surprised at the number of women don’t say thank you, wait, maybe you wouldn’t be.
Women want equality and it seems a fair number still want the man to pay, and they also want the sexual revolution and have one night stands. Women, you might want a gentleman but you don’t deserve one unless you are a lady. Be someone worth wooing. Otherwise it seems like you want your cake and to eat it too. You want a guy to respect you, be someone worth respecting. Leave the one night stands in the past: (sorry fellow men) and move forward.
I’m a gentlemen just for the hell of it. There’s no quid pro quo behind it. But ask yourself why would a man settle for you? A prince you say? He deserves a princess and not today’s diva-like perception of a princess. A lady, one who uses good manners and is polite. She’ll be appreciated by those of us who are gentlemen, I promise.