With apologies, I give you this song to listen to while reading a significantly less brilliant post about my dating life or rather, how it came to be a healthy one. When I first split with my ex-wife, I didn’t know what exactly was wrong with me. I knew what was going on in my previous relationship and my failings (of which there were many.) But what I didn’t know, and what I wouldn’t know for a long period of time, was how to date.
I was completely lost. As a disclaimer, I rarely dated before I met my wife so it made sense to be more lost than the average bear. (Yes, I just dropped some Yogi Bear on you.) I didn’t know what I wanted, I just knew how I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel loved, and needed and trusted and respected. I needed more than I had received in my previous relationship. But where to get it and from whom to get it?
At first, I had a naive and optimistic thought that it didn’t matter who it came from, to be appreciated by anyone would be enough. But that was a lie, that I was telling myself-I had standards. To ignore them was to waste my time and those of the women I was going after.
I went out with just about any woman on okcupid/eHarmony/match. What I should have done is reflect. My greatest flaw is that I lack an ability to be introspective. Hell, I still lack a developed ability to be introspective. I’m perpetually looking outward, and needed to improve in that regard before I was ready to date, regardless of my loneliness or desire to prove that I was wanted. Until you know what’s wrong with you, there’s no reason to date. You’ll just be repeating the same mistakes again in your next relationship. That’s just my opinion..want to know some of my other flaws? Well you’ll just have to date me to find out.
Why spoil the surprise?